Leadership Is Not a Power Trip: Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Authority

I had a conversation with a friend recently about their job. They said it was “okay,” but quickly added, “The way the foreman talks to people is just… rude. He throws things down if it’s not right. But that’s normal. That’s how they’ve always been.”

And I sat with that for a minute.

How often do we hear that?

How often do we accept that?

We’ve normalized toxic leadership under the excuse of “that’s how it’s always been.” But let me say this as clearly as I can:

Leadership is not about revenge. Leadership is not about flexing power. Leadership is not about mimicking the abuse you once endured.

It’s time we break that cycle.

I had a conversation with a friend recently about their job. They said it was “okay,” but quickly added, “The way the foreman talks to people is just… rude. He throws things down if it’s not right. But that’s normal. That’s how they’ve always been.”

And I sat with that for a minute.

How often do we hear that?

How often do we accept that?

We’ve normalized toxic leadership under the excuse of “that’s how it’s always been.” But let me say this as clearly as I can:

Leadership is not about revenge. Leadership is not about flexing power. Leadership is not about mimicking the abuse you once endured.

It’s time we break that cycle.

What Leadership Is Not

Leadership is not yelling.

It’s not slamming things when mistakes are made.

It’s not walking around with a chip on your shoulder because someone once treated you like you were nothing.

Rudeness is not strength.

Disrespect is not accountability.

Control is not leadership.

We’ve watched too many people get promoted and immediately become the very thing they used to hate — because they think that’s what power looks like.

”Real Leaders don’t repeat the pain they experienced. They rise above it.”

Hurt People, Hurt People… Unless They Heal First

Let’s be real — some people were raised under terrible leadership. They were belittled, micromanaged, ignored, or outright abused in the workplace. And now that they’ve climbed the ladder, they treat others the same.

Why?

Because they never healed from what they went through.

Because they think being feared means being respected.

Because they confuse toughness with toxicity.

Leadership isn’t about repeating the cycle. It’s about breaking it.

The Real Mark of a Leader

True leadership means…

• Setting the tone without raising your voice

• Correcting without crushing

• Guiding without controlling

• Being firm without being rude

Anyone can throw a tantrum.

But it takes real strength to lead with emotional maturity.

The best leaders are builders — they develop their teams, not diminish them. They challenge people to rise without tearing them down.

They don’t lead from ego.

They lead from example.

The Damage of Toxic Leadership

Let’s talk impact.

Toxic leadership doesn’t just make for an uncomfortable environment — it creates:

• High turnover

• Burnout

• Silence in the room (because no one feels safe to speak)

• Low morale and low motivation

• Broken trust

And eventually? It creates a team that functions out of fear, not passion.

Fear might get results for a moment, but respect creates longevity.

And no one grows where they feel disrespected.

If You’re in Leadership… Ask Yourself This:

• Am I leading others the way I wish someone had led me?

• Am I operating from wisdom or from old wounds?

• Would I want to work for me?

If any of those questions make you uncomfortable, that’s okay. Growth starts with awareness. You don’t have to keep doing what was done to you. You get to set a new standard.

If You’re Under Bad Leadership…

Hear me clearly: It’s not you.

You’re not “too sensitive.”

You’re not imagining it.

And you don’t deserve to be treated like that — ever.

Some people aren’t in charge because they’re good at leading — they’re in charge because someone else handed them a title and never checked their character.

But don’t let their brokenness break your confidence. Keep showing up. Keep growing. And when it’s your turn to lead, do it differently.

Final Word: People Over Power

Leadership is a privilege — not a license to abuse.

It’s not about being the boss. It’s about being the example.

So let’s kill the power trip.

Let’s stop repeating the cycle.

Let’s build cultures — and people — that thrive.

Because real leaders don’t just take the lead.

They lift others while they do it.

Don’t miss a post!

Subscribe to the website and get notified when new blogs, resources, and behind-the-scenes leadership lessons drop.

Because true growth happens when we stay connected, stay challenged, and stay inspired.

👉🏽 [Join the list now] — and let’s grow together.